hs. I wish I had a penis that was 23 inches around.
ss. What would you have sex with? Whales?
hs. Small car tires.

hs. Hey, do you think you're me, that you can just give somebody the
reacharound any time you want? ... Hey, something is gonna happen if
you keep doing that, and it's not lactating.

Movie Quote Monday!

ss1. They look like beatniks, should I unpack my bongos?
ss2. I intend to unpack mine.

ss. Ok, Smooch McGooch.
hs. Did you just ask me to smooch your gooch? I'm not into that.

hs. *he burps* Do you wanna make out?
ss. I can smell your burp.
hs. I chose to share that with you.

ss. Go do what you need to do so we can go to sleep.
hs. I wont even make any jokes about needing you to be there for that.

ss. Are you going to make us sandwiches? I'll let you touch my booty.
hs. You do that anyway.
ss. Nooo. The booty is only for sandwich-makers.

hs. You've been smooch attacked. Ahh! ...Ok, I'll let you be autonomous now.

ss. When you woke up this morning, did you want an awkwardly long hug?
hs. When you woke up this morning, dis you want an awkwardly long hug and to get your leg humped?

while in the shower having sex, there is a knock at the door.
ss1. Hey, sorry to bother you, have you seen my brother?
ss2. ...um...
hs. Yea, I'm here. What's up?